Death Before Decaf Funny Coffee Tee – The Ultimatum in Cotton Form

For the true believers. The ones who understand that coffee isn't a beverage—it's a lifestyle, a religion, and the very lifeblood that powers great (or at least functional) human beings. The "Death Before Decaf" Funny Coffee Tee is your battle standard in a world of questionable choices. This isn't a suggestion; it's a declaration of principles. It's for the barista who scoffs at the decaf grinder, the office worker whose productivity is directly tied to their bean intake, and anyone who considers "switch to decaf" a personal threat. Wear it with pride, wear it with a large mug of something dark and strong, and let the world know where you stand on the only issue that truly matters before 10 AM.

Product Details & Features

• Caffeine-Grade Comfort: Made from 100% premium, breathable cotton. Robust enough for your daily grind, comfortable enough for the post-espresso crash.

• Unapologetic Statement Design: Features bold, clear typography with the iconic "Death Before Decaf" slogan. Often paired with a grim reaper, a skull, or defiant coffee imagery. No subtlety, all truth.

• Bold, Uncompromising Fit: A classic, slightly structured unisex cut. It doesn't apologize for its presence, just like your coffee order shouldn't. (Check our size chart for your perfect fit).

• High-Contrast, Lasting Print: Crisp, high-impact print that won't fade into the background. The message stays as sharp as your focus after that first cup.

• The Ultimate Purist's Gift: The perfect, hilarious gift for the coffee snob, the barista with attitude, or the friend who genuinely views decaf as a betrayal.

Why This Tee is Non-Negotiable

This shirt is mandatory for:

• Hardcore Coffee Addicts who can trace their ancestry back to a coffee plant.

• Professional Baristas & Cafe Workers who live the creed every shift.

• Morning People (By Force, Not Choice) who are powered purely by roasted beans.

• Gym Rats & Night Owls who use coffee as legitimate fuel for their pursuits.

• Gift-Givers looking for a brutally honest and funny gift for the caffeine-dependent person in their life.

Style Your Unyielding Stance

Wear this tee to caffeinated locations and beyond:

• The Coffee Shop: Walk in wearing this and earn instant respect (or concern) from the staff.

• The Office: A clear warning to anyone thinking of scheduling an early meeting without providing coffee.

• Gym & Outdoor Adventures: Because pre-workout is for amateurs; real athletes run on cold brew.

• Anywhere Before Noon: Your statement of intent for the day.

Pairs perfectly with: A double espresso, a slight tremor, unwavering eye contact, and a deep-seated distrust of herbal tea.

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 Choose Your Side. We've Chosen Ours.

In the eternal war between flavor and faux, between energy and apathy, there is only one correct side. This tee leaves no room for debate, just like your morning ritual.

Ready to declare your allegiance? Add to Cart. (Decaf drinkers, you've been warned).

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)

Q1: What's the fabric quality? Is it strong?
A: It's made from 100% heavyweight premium cotton. It's built to last, much like your caffeine addiction.

Q2: How do I care for the bold print?
A: Wash inside-out in cold water. Tumble dry low. Avoid bleach—treat the message with the same respect you'd treat a fresh bag of single-origin beans.

Q3: What are the sizing details?
A: We offer a full unisex size range from S to XXL. This shirt has a classic, straightforward fit. Please check our size chart for measurements.

Q4: Is the design too aggressive?
A: It's intentionally bold and humorous, meant for those who take their coffee (and their coffee jokes) very seriously. It's a parody of extreme dedication.

Q5: What is your shipping timeline?
A: We process orders within 1-3 business days. Shipping times vary. For a speedy delivery that matches your caffeine needs, check our shipping policy for expedited options.

Product features
- Made with 100% lightweight Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton for breathable comfort
- Crisp, detailed sleeve and neck label printing for vibrant designs
- Retail fit suitable for casual and semi-formal occasions
- Tear-away label for added comfort
- REACH Certified and sourced ethically from Honduras

Care instructions
- Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F)
- Non-chlorine: bleach as needed
- Tumble dry: low heat
- Iron, steam or dry: medium heat
- Do not dryclean

EU representative: HONSON VENTURES LIMITED, gpsr@honsonventures.com, 3, Gnaftis House flat 102, Limassol, Mesa Geitonia, 4003, CY

Product information: Bella+Canvas 3001, 2 year warranty in EU and Northern Ireland as per Directive 1999/44/EC

Care instructions: Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), Non-chlorine: bleach as needed, Tumble dry: low heat, Iron, steam or dry: medium heat, Do not dryclean